My 17 y/o has been charged with felony buglary which he has already written a statement admitting his envolvement. Now, I'm playing damage control.

I've never had to bail anyone out of jail before, but we did.

Still working on finding an attorney.
He's being charged as an adult.


...my fookin' head is spinning.
Any chance that one of you gentlemen know of a link where I can find out what the penalties are for felony burglary are in the state of texas?

I'm not sure how much the store owner says they stole, but my son tells me its more than twice as much as they actually took. Everything is with a grain of salt. I don't even have a copy of the statement he gave.

BTW, Thank you.
jeff

Jeff,

You shjould be able to get a copy of his statement once you get him an attorney. They should be able to have access to that info.

As far as the other info.......try this:

http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/pe.toc.htm

Sorry about this. If you need anything holler. I will be thinking of you guys.

Jerrod

PS Keep your head up.

thanks Jarrod, I always appreciate the help and thought you offer.

I'll check out the link. Busy day.

jeff

$2500 and he will get probation....this is what I was told anyway.

:roll: :roll: Sometimes ya just wonder what kids are thinkin'... :? :?

I know it's frustrating, but you have done what you could... I wish him good luck in the future... :wink: :wink:

thanks mike.

That's the way it usually happens... :roll: :roll:

Hang in there...

Do you think helping him will really help him? I know this could happen to any of us and I am truly thankfull it hasnt happened to me, yet anyway. If you bail him out he wont learn anything and theres a chance he wont learn anything anyway. Certainly no offense intended.

Spoiler, I hear ya. I wanted him to spend some time in county...my wife was a wreck though. She agrees with me to an extent, but she was worried sick that he will get 'physically vandalized'. He weighs about 110 lbs soaking wet...and he's Severely White for a white boy in El Paso. I would have loved for him to learn a lesson, but not at the risk of him being raped or beat down. It's looking like he will have probation for 2 to 3 years plus fines. With any luck, he has learned his lesson....he only has ONE get out of jail free card...and its been used.

I assure you, IF it happens again.....things will be VERY different on my behalf. I'll always love the boy, but things will change if this ever happens again.

***As a matter of fact, I'm gonna have him read this thread and the other thread, so if you guys have any advice, please let me(him) know. His name is Curtis.

Curtis,
I know you don't know me, & you'll probably not listen to what I have to say, BUT:
You are lucky enough to have people who care about you & are willing to give up their time & money so that you can have another chance. You might not be so lucky next time.

I've never met your dad in person, but I consider him a friend, & I know he has considered every possible resource in trying to do right by you. Step up & do the right thing.

I hope to meet you & your dad someday, & I'll be proud to shake your hand while you bust me for writing this corny bullshit!! But only if you've done your part.
Sincerely,

Mike

Curtis,
I don't know you either and your probably pissed that you're reading this right now, but it beats the alternative of sitting in the corner of a cell hoping nobody fucks with you. I've been there so I'm not being hypocritical. Like you, I was fortunate enough to have my folks bail me out once too. Take advantage of their love for you.

17 is a tough age. I was full of energy and the chemicals in body were way out of whack and had no way to get deal with it besides cutting myself and burning myself and vandalizing others property. I regret a lot of decisions I made, and I'm sure I dissappointed a lot of people. I was headed down the wrong path. I was drunk every day for three years. After a year in the Marine Corps I was booted for smoking pot. I'm trying to tell you that no matter what errors in judgement you make you can always turn yourself around. I don't really know what saved me besides others love for me when I didn't have any for myself or anyone else, but I haven't drank in 5 1/2 years. I'm married to a wonderful woman and have a college degree that not only got me a job which not only affords me the toys I want, but gave me a sense of accomplishment. My life may not be perfect now, but it's significantly better than it was eight years ago.

continued...yes there's more. Sit there and keep reading.

I don't know what will work for you. Clearly you are on the same destructive path I was. You are very, very, very fortunate to have people that care about you and who I imagine want to do anything to help you. Take advantage of their help. People see things in you that you may not see in yourself. Just because you don't see them does not mean they aren't there. We all have talents and interests. Put the two together and focus. It won't happen over night. In fact, reading this may make you more pissed off. You WILL get through it.

Andy

Update Jeff?

tonight he will be sitting down and reading this...

Hey this is Curtis, Thank you all for your comments and help...i truly think i have learned my lesson...thank you again. :D
CURT!S

thanks fellas. He sat down and read it....we'll talk about it tonight after it soaks in a bit. I was actually suprized he replied. Maybe I should start talking to him on 'myspace'.

Jeff,

You and Curtis both keep your heads up.

Jerrod

Sometimee I think it would be easier to talk to my 19 year old daughter that way, too!! :roll: :roll:


:P :P :P

Hang in there, Curtis... Your dad cares a lot about you, & if you've "learned your lesson", you'll listen to him (just a little) more... :wink: :wink:

19YOD????? Hook a brutha up Dad... :wink: :wink: :wink:

you are so NOT RIGHT

Damn dude,ive seen pics of you,what would posses your children to defy you is beyond me :shock: :shock:

One of these days, Rich... If ya piss me off enough, I'll introduce you to Rebecca...

Right now, she's busy making about 40 other people's lives fu*kin' miserable, so there's nothing available in her schedule...

I'll keep your request in mind, tho... :roll: :roll:

If your kids know you wont put a hand on them...it doesn't matter if I'm Kongs twin. Maybe I shold've kept spanking their asses til they were 21.


Go, what do you mean about Rebecca making 40 other people miserable???

I was exaggerating for effect, Jeff...

It's prolly not actually 40 people, & miserable is a pretty strong word...

BUT - She has a way of minding other people's business & shirking her responsibilities that never fails to give me a major pain in tha fakkin' azz!! :twisted: :twisted:

Jeff, You might want to explain to him that a felony conviction will make
his life miserable, especially when he wants to get a job, or more
school, even enter the military.

I don't know any specifics, but it's a monkey on his back...

My point is I ASK to have his record exsponged (sp?) meaning his
felony record would be erased if he SUCCESSFULLY serves out his
probation...

Last chance boy... last chance to decide if you want a good life or a piece
of shit one... your choice.

Jere

If I was to offer any advice, it would be don't miss out on life before it begins. Work hard on the things that matter. School, family and friends and relationships, and go by your gut instinct. If it feels wrong then it is wrong.

I am a recovering alcoholic and only by the grace of God am I alive today. I had so many friends die doing stupid things while drinking or doing drugs. We tend to find one another alcoholics, misery loves company.

I missed out on many opportunities because I lowered my standards instead of changing my behavior to meet my goals. I could have been more than I am today. But I am working on being who I should have been, but will never make up lost time.

Time is one thing you can not buy. My advice is make the most of your time on being what you want to be and make the most of your opportunities. 99.9% of the time when the door opens it don't open again. :wink:

Good Luck

Life is what you make it

Thanks Outlaw, I will make sure he reads your advice. Whether he takes it...well, he's 18 now.

Quick update: Still waiting for a trial date. He did go back to High School, but it just didn't work out. I will be dropping him from the Highschool and enrolling him in a Diploma Graduation plan(Sunset) geared for his specific situation. His attitude has improved ten fold and we actually get along MUCH better. Hopefully me and Curtis can keep him pointed in the right direction. As always, thanks to everyone who has given input to help us out.
Jeff

One of the reasons I admire you L2M is because you are real...

Most guys would never share this... they'd try to keep it a big secret.
Nor would they reach out to others for help. Takes a big man in my book
to do this... and it's just one more reason I think you're alright.

Wishing the best for your son, and if there is anything I can do for you, just ask.

Jere

Once again Jeff.......keep your head up!!!

what Jere said. Keep with it. Glad to hear things are going better.

Jerrod

mine ended back in detention, 4 weeks after completeing yet another program. he only made it thru 1 week of school before he decided to get high and run because he knew that he wouldn't pass the ua when he met with his PO the next day.

yep, I'm the azzhole.

Zed, sorry to hear that.

Here's my update. El Paso sent the court summons on Monday, arrived Tuesday to let us know he had court @ 8:30 the next morning. Thanks. Anyway, we arrived in court(I wore my uniform). He was called up before the arraignment and asked if he was in school and if he had an attorney. The court appointed him an attorney at no charge to us. This helped a bunch. He had my son fill out some papers stating what he was charged with and what his plead was. Not Guilty? So, now I am working with the Attorney and the store owner. After a long time talking to the owner, he does not want my son to have a felony on his record, he only wants to be re-imbursed for the stuff that was taken from his store. He is willing to write a letter to the DA thru my attorney to see if the charges can be dismissed or reduced to a non-felony. Things seem to be working out for the best. The only issue I have is that it really sounds like this guy wants my son to pay for everything that was taken. Over half of the stuff taken was still in the plastic wrappers. Everything that was taken has been returned. Out of the $2500 worth of stuff taken, my son only took $515 worth of stuff. Pretty sure that this guy is gonna try and stick my son for the full amount. I know its the lesser of two evils and it all could have been avoided if my son would've used his head. I just get the feeling that the owner is kinda sticking it too my son. I'll do what I can with the attorney to see that my son gets a fair shake. If he gets stuck with the full amount, it will be a lesson learned and not a lot I can do about it. It is still the DA's discretion what to do regardless if the owner drops the charges or not.

On the brighter side....my sons attorney is a dwarf. 8)

Toss that sumbitch.

he plead not guilty? was he caught with the goods?

there is some good news for you then. hell, 2500 is a lot cheaper than having that stuck to him for the rest of his life and having to actually pay for it may teach him something.

I think I have finally hit the point of telling my son that my phone number will probably change but I will always have the same email address, as soon as you feel you want to be back in the family send me an email. I think we are going to have this conversation soon. I already bounced it off the family councelor and she agreed with me. why don't they understand that all we want is the best for them? I know I wasn't like that when I was his age.

guess he is going to enroll in the school of hard knocks early.

the not guilty plea was basically a default for court appointed attorneys. The guy was given my sons case with zero reaction time. So he tells us that my son is pleading not guilty until we can get together and formulate the game plan.

I feel your pain Zed. I felt like I was headed for the same thing, that is why I started this thread in the first place. Since my sons arrest, he has really looked long and hard in the mirror. He has either straightened up, or is hiding it better. If I was a betting man, I'd say the jail scared the shit out of him. He realizes that he is 18 now and he Very much wants me to enroll him in a diploma-oriented alternative to High School. I have given up on my sons HS. They are the most worthless fucking people I have ever dealt with. The counselors suck, the principal and V-principals suck, and the majority of the teachers suck. Overall, the whole fucking school is ate the fuck up. Thats another story all together though. The point is, he want to get back in a school, he doesn't want to settle for a GED. There is nothing wrong with a GED either, he just wants a diploma.

I see about the plea.
untill recently my son had all the "experts" fooled, not me, I knew the little bastard was fakeing. he was even telling everyone that he wanted to go back to school so he could play football again, he was in the programs for almost a year and wasn't able to smoke, the first thing he does when he got out was find someone that would either sell them to him or buy them for him.

"fake it till you make it" is a saying that I never heard him say till he went into the programs. they taught him a lot of stuff that will help him in his new life, not the one that I want him to have. my son turns 17 this wednesday while he sits in detention. he was on the run away list on his 16th birthday.

I have been talking with a person from DYS today, trying to set up a time that we can talk about my son face to face. I am not going to let them just let him go or put him in a program that he can "fake it till he makes it". right now as far as I'm conserned they can keep him till he is 21.

I had the meeting and they put him in another program, from the sound of it, it's a vacation. camping, hiking, rock climbing. wonder if they will let us trade places for a week.

had a visit with the lawyer yesterday. It's looking like my son could be looking at a # of different routes. Not really sure what it will be, but my sons att. is asking for a differment, plead guilty to a lesser charge,2 yrs differed probation and repay whatever was taken plus court costs/fees. Differment means it will not go on his record after he finishes his commitments.

With that said, I really feel like my son is getting hosed when it comes to repaying the owner for the stolen goods. This fucking guy says my son stole a fucking truckload of shit from him. 2 kids on bicycles and 1 dufflebag, one trip, witnesses to the amount of stuff that was taken from my house, etc...
45 skateboards? 20 sweatshirts? 20 shirts? 5 pairs of shoes? and a WHOLE buch of small expensive shit? Go figure. There is no way 2 kids can haul that much loot. The way I see it, the guy got ripped off, so he's making the most of it. He got ALL the goods back, which 90% were still in the package and very sell-able. He got an insurance settlement. He got a settlement from the minors' father(which we have no legal access too.) And now he wants my son to pay full retail on everything that was stolen. Talk about a goldmine!!! Granted, someone else could have stolen more shit when they left the scene, but....this particular shop would be completely EMPTY if they had taken that much stuff. Pretty sure once this guy gets his money, the shop will close.

Done venting, at least his ass ain't going to jail---and no felony @ age 18.

As far as I'm concerned, the store owner is just as bad as what my son did, lies, fraud, etc. With that said, this half-pint motherfucker tries telling me he will recommend that my son join the military. Gimme a fucking break. Lying little stealing motherfucKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKer!

Well, Jeff - as fugged-tupp as it is, it's not as fugged-tupp as it could be, huh?? 8) 8)

I'm glad to hear your son is getting another chance, & I hope he appreciates it!! :wink: :wink:

thanks, Mike. Hopefully this morning we will have a response from the DA.

into yet another program that he didn't complete ran away, cops couldn't find him for 4 months, now he is in detention again going to another program in a week then just going to let him go.

september he will be 18, don't have to worry about this stuff after that. he wants a hard life, he can have it.

2 felonies, $5-8K worth of fines and restitution, 5 years probation, 200 hours of community service and he MUST complete his GED. He now lives with Gramma in Clarksville, TN.

my son is actually picking tabacco in Tennessee for a living....

He would have graduated last year....

Still love him and I tell him when I call.

he's sure has laid a rough foundation for the rest of his life though.

Well, I'm done. My (now) 20 year old that i have been trying to help, provided food, shelter, and enrolled in a diploma program--all at my cost...has fucked me for the last time. He decided tonight to pack all his shit up and steal my car while I was sleeping. I will be pressing charges, the wife will have no say-so in this matter. I've been shit on for the last time.

I still Love the boy with all of my heart, but he has made his last stupid decision under our roof.

Damnit.
L2M

WTF! Is this the same kid that joined the service?

I won't be suprised if the police tell you its a civil matter. Has he had permission to use the car before? Good luck, and I hope you get it worked out. Maybe he will get sent to TDCJ this time.

No, my 19 y/o jarhead is going thru school right now in Virginia.

You're absolutely right. The police acted like they didn't want to take him in, but the shift SGT gave them the green light. I pressed charges for 'unauthorized use of a motor vehicle'. I REALLY hate wasting the police departments time and resources for this kind of crap, but I really needed him removed from the house. If the charges get tossed I'm o'kay with that...I NEEDED him out of the house for awhile before I lose my mind, or put my hands on him. Out of all of my avenues, this is the only one that I could rationalize.
You know, seeing your son that you've raised from a 4 y/o being led out in cuffs is really damaging to the soul....

God bless the police out there that have to waste their time with this kind of drama, and thank you to the local PD for backing me on this.

Now I just have to see how mama is going to deal with this...

Thanks again fellas---just needed to vent some more.
Jeff

Damn Jeff, sorry to hear this. Has to be breaking your heart.

Teach em a hard lesson..... Enough is enough....

it sucks Jeff,

Thanks fellas.
I couldn't have put it better myself. It time to man up, for both of us.

DA dropped the charges and released him within an hour. Now, there is no grey area where me and my wife stand. We're done with his antics and we're gonna let him try the world on his own.

I totally agree, "Tough Love" is the ticket to straightening out this young man. I wish you the best and I hope when he's 40... he'll thank you for booting his ass out in the world.

i know you don't know me.....but i will tell you after living thru this with my father and step mother...you are doing the right thing.

i have 3 step brothers and all have had run ins with the law.....the first two are lost, thier mother never let them be diciplined, always bailed them out...etc.

both are well into thier 30's still in and out of jail, won't hold a job, have kids they won't take care of.

the youngest, she finally decided to get tough with after he came home from a 3 year stretch in CA prison system....and he is turning out ok. got back into school and has ashot at being a funtioning grown up....

it will be hard, especially when the anger goes away....and you will be tempted to change your mind when you see him hurting. my step brother is proof that "tough love" can work, and it may involve some nights crying by your wife(and you)....but will be well worth it.


like i said, you don't know me, but i am just trying to give some encouragement....good luck.

Thank you for the words and insight...I never ever thought it would actually come to this, but there comes a time when, as a father, you just get tired of being shit on. I'm at that point now, and luckily so is my wife. I am still willing to pay for his schooling(if he decides to continue), and pay for his cell phone(for my wife and my piece of mind.) On the flip side though, I'm pretty sure he will be violated by his probation officer...he's got 4 more years of probation and I'm pretty sure they are done with his antics too. FYI--they actually violated him last month for not paying his fines and not having a job...nothing ever came of that though.

Just reading this, Jeff... Suxx, Dude...

I hope your son in VA has an opportunity to talk to the son who's decided to "cross the river at it's widest point"... Maybe he can talk some sense into him...

FWIW, I agree with what you & tha wifey have decided... It reminds me that I have some housekeeping to do, also... Don't know if mine will be as dramatic, but the time is coming...

Hope everything works out well for him (and everyone else)...

did the judge say why he hit your son so hard?

No. He laid it out very straight forward though. Get a GED, pay your fines and court fees, pay restitution to the victims, 200 hours community service, and you will be on probation until this is completed(5 years, or until all the above are met). Once he completed everything, he would be released from probation and the charges would be ex-sponged from his records. Almost like it never happened. Felony burglary and felony assault...I think it was fair enough.

I think the main problem was that my son never took it serious. From his point of view, I honestly think he believed that he had a 'pass' to screw off for 5 years. The probation officer was a complete joke. I've had more than a few words with them. I had to raise hell with them because they never had a problem with my son not working, paying fines, or doing community service. He was never held accountable for anything. They are just fine letting the fees ($60/month) pile up and having my son do a urinalysis every other month. His PO really got pissed when I made her look completely incompetent in front of her boss. She wasn't doing a damn thing, NOTHING. What a joke.

But, with that said, regardless of how screwed up the system is, you wont have to deal with that crap if you work hard and make an honest living....and grow up a bit.

We'll see how his appointment with his probation officer goes on the 15th. If he doesn't get locked down, I will be buying him a bus-pass to get to school and pay for his school. I want him to succeed, but he's truely going to have to do it on his own. As for paying for his cell phone, my wife and I will sleep better knowing that we can get ahold of him. And, yes, he's still welcome in my home, but only to visit, he's still and always will be my son.

As for a place to stay, my 19 y/0(Marine) called in a favor to one of his friends....for now, he has a place to stay. He will not be coming back home though. He has already been served with a notice to vacate from his landlord---me, just so its all legal. He's getting a fat dose of reality right about now.

Thanks to everyone...this thread (the meds too )really helps me keep my head clear.
L2M

Damnit! Jeff I'm sorry you're going thru this kinda shit Bro... Not a fit welcome home for a man that has been serving his country in a HELL HOLE for the past year.. I hope the boy gets a clue and quick

Gunner, thanks. Some young men don't get it. He will come around though...just not on Cisco Lane.