Need help with my 16 yr old. Runaway/Texas - Page 3 - Kawasaki Forum :: KawasakiWorld.com
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post #31 of 82 Old 06-16-2005, 07:01 AM Thread Starter
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post #32 of 82 Old 10-15-2005, 09:36 AM
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latest....

first of all I want to say Thank you to the gracious offers and kind words of encouragement.

2nd. The boys just need more attention. I used to find myself coming home sitting on the computer and ignoring the fact that my kids need attention. they would come in to talk about their day, and I'd kinda half ass listen. I used to raise hell, cuss, and scream, fget in their face boot canp style...and I wondered why they were acting the way they were? they were reacting, not acting.

Since my boys came back from Tennessee this summer, I've made changes. For me, big changes.
My oldest(17) still thinks he can do nothing and bail out when he turns 18 next August. I've gone to the school to get his classes straight and he attend tutuoring 4 days a week. He's doing better.

My angry 15 year old has decidided that he wants to be on the swim team. the 'losers' he hung with last year are on the HS football and Baseball team. Football I could care less about because the Coach SUCKS. Baseball hurt me, my son is GREAT at baseball and he loves it. He made the decision to stop running with those bad ass kids and join the swim team. Now every Friday my entire family attends his swim meets. He just happens to have the best report card he's had since elementery school!!!

I guess what I'm getting at is that you can't expect the kids to do what they are suppossed to unless you show them and guide them in a positive way. When I need to run to the store, i take them, no matter what. I've started teaching them how to study. we sit down around the kitchen table and study EVERY night. Instead of going to races by myself, they go with. When I go to watch the game, they go with me. Those are the rules. If you get in trouble, you do PT...Period.

Recently, my sis-n-law and her 3 kids have moved in....they will be staying for awhile. My nieces and nephews are starved for attention to. I make my sis get up with them every morning and help with their homework. I'm not going to make the same mistake, or allow her to make the same mistakes I have.

In the End, I was the one to blame. I just hope anyone who reads this can relate and find something useful that may help. If you need any assistance with troublesome teens or bad grades, post here and I will tell you what I did that help. Thanks for reading, and thanks for helping.

Jeff

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post #33 of 82 Old 10-16-2005, 07:33 AM
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8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)

Glad to hear everything is going better Jeff. Fmily is the most important thing in the world. Stay on them and even in the darkest of days they will come back and thank you for everything you did. I know from experience, I was not the best of kids at a younger age. Nowadays I appreciate everything my parents did for me. I will continually pray for you.

Jerrod

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post #34 of 82 Old 10-16-2005, 01:20 PM
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I was not the best of kids at a younger age. Nowadays I appreciate everything my parents did for me
Amen, Jarrod...Amen. Thank goodness they have not gotten into the drugs and alchohol, stealing like I was when I was their age....There is a bright side to everything. Thanks J.

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post #35 of 82 Old 10-16-2005, 08:05 PM
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Thanks for the update, Jeff... Glad to hear things are better!! :wink: :wink:

A wise man once told me: "You can't judge how your kids turned out until you see how they've raised their kids..." :!: :!:

Something to think about, I guess...

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
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post #36 of 82 Old 10-16-2005, 08:26 PM
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I agree with that one, mike, I just hope they don't get in a hurry to start 8) raising their own kids you know :wink:

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post #37 of 82 Old 10-16-2005, 08:28 PM
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I agree with that one, mike, I just hope they don't get in a hurry to start 8) raising their own kids you know :wink:
Roger that... Don't ask me how I know, but that suxx... :( :(

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
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post #38 of 82 Old 10-20-2005, 09:48 AM
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i spoke too soon . Cops brought them home at 3 am this morning, didn't write a ticket for cerfew violation which was cool....

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post #39 of 82 Old 10-20-2005, 09:53 AM
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A wise man once told me: "You can't judge how your kids turned out until you see how they've raised their kids..." :!: :!:
:wink: :wink:

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
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post #40 of 82 Old 11-06-2005, 05:24 PM
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This is a classic.

Failure to show proof of insurance.......$267.oo.
Failure to show drivers license............$117.oo.
Driving W/O headlights......................$113.oo.
Finding out my 17 year old 'borrowed' his aunts car and got busted last month....

PRICELESS.

Now he gets to appear before the Judge on the 11th...alone.

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post #41 of 82 Old 11-06-2005, 07:34 PM
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Don't feel bad. Made a run run the other nite on a car wreck. Once we got there found out there were three 14y olds in the car. The driver was the son of one of our Firefighters. This was his 3rd wreck in a car in two years. So don't think you are the only parent going thru this. Just remember sometimes they need you to help, sometimes they need you not to. (My dad told me that after he let me spend the nite in jail after a Pub Intox while in college). I learned my lesson.

Good Luck Buddy!!

Jerrod

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post #42 of 82 Old 11-06-2005, 09:47 PM
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Sounds tough for him Jeff, but you'll know what to do (& not do) when the time comes... Good luck on this!! :wink: :wink:

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
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post #43 of 82 Old 11-07-2005, 03:27 AM
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Me and my wife have decided that since he went out of his way to take her car and try to keep us fom finding out...he will be standing before the Judge by himself. "Dad, I kinda screwed up last night..." would be a totally different story though.
His reply when I asked him about the headlights..."I could see just fine."
Police even said he looked to damn young to be driving.


I'll take a deep breathe, step back, and continue to sleep with my keys. :D Hopefully he will figure it out soon. I'm just praying that this isn't the incident he uses as an exuse to drop out of school.

Thanks---as always for the advice.
Jeff

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post #44 of 82 Old 11-07-2005, 07:24 AM
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I always try to boil it down to the simplest terms possible:

1) Choices
2) Privileges
3) Responsibilities
4) Trust

These words, when completely understood (that's the hard part), are the keys to making the transition from adolescence to adulthood...

FWIW, I'm still working on mine!! :wink: :wink:

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
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post #45 of 82 Old 11-08-2005, 04:56 AM Thread Starter
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I know a lot of it goes back to his 'father'. His father is a 'cheap con', never does really enough to go to jail, always has warrents for dumb shit, and works just enough to get by until his Dad passes. From what my wife says, they are identical....
I'm sure Genes has a lot to do with it, but I've raised my son since he was 4---he knows all too well what my expectations are, I know what his are too. At 17 now he's already coming up to crossroads that he has to navigate. I'll pick him up, dust him off, and point him in the right direction...other than that, he knows right and wrong.................

BTW, Mike...he knows all 4 of those. Especially Trust....because he has indefinitely put that on hold with me and my wife.
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